Pressure cooker

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 ESV)

This verse is used at many weddings and I think that is certainly fitting, however, the key point here is that if one try's to go it alone, bad things can and do happen.  I will confess that I am far too reliant on myself.  I have the attitude so many times of I WILL DO THIS...never say die, don't quit, just suck it up kind of attitude...and that is not who God has designed me to be and it's a daily struggle.  God's way is YOU can't do this, but  I can, YOU must die to Yourself and submit to My will, You must stop fighting against Me if you're going to get where I want you, and I need You to care more about other people and love on them.  That's such a different message than what the world would have us follow.  I put a lot of pressure on myself, I'm a perfectionist, I feel overly responsible for every thing, and all of this stems from my selfish thinking that I am somehow in control.  I can't carry that weight any more, it's too much and not only that, it's not worth it (relying on me).  This is a daily talk that I have to have with my self, to remind myself that God's way is best and that my friends and family are there to help.  God does not intend for us to do life alone. 

Tonight I found myself in the pressure cooker, in the coal mine, etc. and having "the talk" with myself again.   I was putting all this pressure on myself, to "suck it up", and telling myself all of these ways that I was going to fix the problem... Let me just say that the pressure drove me to my knees, and as the fists came unclenched, and my heart opened up, I let go of some stuff and gave it to God...and it feels so freeing...I don't know why I hang onto stuff so long, but I pray that He will help me get better...because His way is sooo much better!