When I was a teenager, I struggled A LOT! I felt awkward, I didn't fit in, I was a "geek", I was "smart", etc. It got to the point where teachers stopeed calling on me in class (because I had the right answer) and/or I would ask questions that were outside the scope of the designed lesson (Apparently it is not ok to ask about how scientists were executed in their time for being heretics and there is no reason to ever question what a teacher says is true...completely unbiiblical, and naive at best). I experienced a new kind of low, the kind where everyone knows who you are and no one wants to be associated with you. I had not yet found Jesus, and I just wanted all the confusion and pain to end. My father was a police officer, so easy access to a firearm was a given to say the least. I had many faux attempts, cutting myself with knives (shallow cuts), threatening hangings, and many other type things. It got so bad, that my parents sought professional counseling for me ( this was in the 7th grade). I went, and spoke to a woman from Thailand who had little to no connecction with me. She promised me that anything I told her was confidential, and then it became glaringly obvious that this was not the case. I learned more than anything that I must watch what I say, guard my tongue, only say that which needed to be said, etc. These sessions went on for months to no avail. Eventually, a friend and I were talking and there were significant differences between his life and mine, and I wanted the peace that he had (especially after dealing with such animosity for so long). It wasn't hard, it was simply about confessing my sin to Jesus and accepting Him as my Lord and Saviour. Moving forward, I had no need for a therapist (which I praise God for to this day!). I found strength, healing, and purpose in Jesus Christ. Here, almost 30 years later, I still remember those feelings of despair. There are times when they come back and I have to fight with all that I am not to give into them. God has put me on the Earth to glorify Himself...and that alone is my sole purpose. I may not be the smartest, best looking, most talented, etc. yet I am able to point people towards Jesus...and that is more than enough for me.
Depression, anxiety, suicidal tendancies, etc. these all run rampant in our society today. There is freedom to be had from all of this...and it starts with complete surrender to Jesus Christ. If you question why you struggle with something, I would admonish you to seek The Lord and find out if you have relinquished that "thing" in your heart. It can be hard, and I'm not saying it will be easy. At the end of the day. The goal is to glorify Christ in all that we do. Focus on that, for NOTHING is too big for God. Amen and God Bless You!
No comments:
Post a Comment